Follow My Rules – Or Else

I'd like to share an undisclosed secret about myself, but only if you promise not to tell a soul. Promise?

I used to have countless rules for other people to follow in order for me to be happy. That's right—rules for other people to follow and obey so that I would be happy. I actually expected other people to behave in a manner that would make me happy! It was true: if someone in my life didn't follow my rules, I wasn't happy; and immediately, if not sooner, we had a conflict. Thank God I can reflect back and laugh at how outrageously pompous I used to be.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a male friend of mine who shared a personal story. My friend is a kind, considerate "nice guy"—a nice guy with rules. One of his rules is that when he extends a courtesy, he expects the same type of behavior in return. For example, when Mr. Nice Guy holds the door open for anyone, including a stranger, he expects his "gentlemanly" behavior to be immediately rewarded with a thank-you. If the person neglects to acknowledge his considerate actions, Mr. Nice Guy gets pissed off. He told me that, in his perspective, the absence of immediate recognition is extremely inconsiderate. He expects a thank-you when he holds the door open for anyone.

Side bar: All expectations subtract from your happiness.

In reality, Mr. Nice Guy has expectations of how other people should act. He desperately needs other people to respond to him the way he expects them to or he becomes annoyed or, worse, angry. The problem with this logic is, when you depend on anyone else to behave in a manner you think is appropriate and they disappoint you, you're actually depending on someone else's behavior to dictate your own happiness. As hard as you may try—and I've tried for decades, you will never be able to control someone else's response or behavior—ever.

If I choose to extend a favor to someone, I cannot count on, and more importantly, depend on, receiving anything back in return. Not even a thank-you. Years ago, if I had extended a courtesy to someone and they didn't immediately thank me, I too, would have labeled them inconsiderate. Very inconsiderate. That's because I had an agenda: I will be nice to you, with expectations of you behaving nicely to me. Let me clarify. It's nice to receive appreciation for my acts of kindness, however, it's no longer necessary for someone else to dictate how I'm going to feel based on what they do or what they don't do. I refuse to give away any of my power.

Today when I decide to extend a courtesy to anyone, I do it because I want to. I have zero expectations of what anyone else does or doesn't do. When I made a conscious decision to eliminate expectations, agendas, and rules from my life, guess what happened? I became much happier.

Today, thank me or don't thank me. Either way, I'm going to remain happy because now my happiness solely depends on one person...me. No longer does my happiness depend on what someone else does or doesn't do. Yes, today my happiness depends on ME and the countless choices I make throughout the moments of my day.

Remember, a guaranteed formula for happiness has only one ingredient—you.

The Importance of Forgiveness

When you spend your priceless moments forgiving instead of holding a grudge, you will become more powerful and more importantly, you will be happier. ~rln

The subject of forgiveness is one of my favorite topics. Who has not been in a situation that requires forgiving someone? In my opinion, when you choose not to forgive and, more importantly, choose not to forgive quickly, you might as well drink a cup of poison every day of your life until you make the selfish choice to forgive. Yes, true forgiveness is selfish. It seems odd to say, but when you choose to forgive, you are acting in your best interest. Of course the other person benefits from your actions; however, you are the person receiving the most benefit. When I finally realized that forgiveness has nothing to do with another person—that forgiveness is a gift that keeps on giving to Self, I was sold. `

Let me share a few personal stories. While growing up I witnessed a lot of behaviors that taught me how I was supposed to act if I felt slighted or wronged. None of the behaviors I observed were an immediate act of forgiveness. When my mother and father argued, their behavior was always followed by what I called “punishment.” My father would give my mother the “cold shoulder” and not speak to her for days. Honestly, looking back, I did not know there were other choices I could have made. It was not until I met my now ex-husband that I learned that a couple was supposed to “talk out” their problems and “never go to bed angry”. My husband might as well have been speaking a foreign language when he explained this to me. Not only did I find the concept of working problems out a problem in itself, but believed that any type of compromise was a sign of weakness!

During my most impressionable years I witnessed my father and his only brother ostracize each other for over more than a decade. They had a falling out over how to manage an apartment building they both owned. Over the years I have since realized the real problem was not how they needed to manage the apartment building, but how they managed their relationship. I believe, in most families, the real problems are unresolved issues that may have arisen during childhood.

I recall a grandmother who banished her son because of the woman he chose to marry. All of my life I have watched mothers, fathers, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins, engage in “you’re dead to me” behavior. So, it is understandable I adopted the same type of social skills.

Yes, I have indulged in off-and-on relationships with people for years. Childhood friends, relatives, in-laws, co-workers, boyfriends, students, the list is quite extensive. I honestly did not know that: (1) I could choose a different type of behavior than the one I learned early in my life, and (2) I was harming myself both physically and emotionally with my behaviors. Just like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, I had the power to create whatever type of relationship I wanted, but I did not know that…until now.

A year before my father died, my mother disinherited me for reasons she believed were just, and chose not to speak to or see me for years. Interestingly enough, even though I remain disinherited, we speak to each other almost every day. I make it a point to end every conversation with a heartfelt, “I love you, Mommy!” Have you ever heard of a child who was disinherited and kept the lines of communication open with the parent who disinherited them? I have not. It is really simple: If I choose to harbor bad feelings, I am choosing toxic behavior. I have never known toxic behavior to result in anything good. Have you?

Forgive As Fast As You Can: For most people a decision to forgive comes, if ever, at the end of a long emotional journey that may stretch over months, if not years. I will admit, for the majority of my life, forgiving was not on my “things to do” list. However, when I found out the truth about the benefits of forgiveness, I began practicing the skill immediately. I was able to forgive my mother years before she was able to forgive me, because when you do not actively practice the skill of forgiveness, you are not able to forgive quickly. Like any other skill, if you do not practice on a regular basis, you get rusty. When you are rusty, you lose the ability to make different choices.

I practice forgiveness on a daily basis. I am committed to keeping my skill-set high. After all, I have been blessed with countless people I had to forgive at one time or another. It took me a while to believe, without any doubt, the overwhelming evidence that forgiveness is a required ingredient of true happiness. If you want inner peace and contentment, or just to grow as a person, you must master this skill. Mastering the skill of forgiveness takes you to another level of spirituality.

Whether you believe Jesus was the son of God or whether you believe Jesus did not exist, you cannot ignore the story of the biggest example of forgiveness that has ever been told. While alive, Jesus taught forgiveness. During his last hours of life, Jesus was forgiveness. I am sure you recognize this important quote from the Bible; Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Have you ever thought about how powerful that statement really is? Can you imagine how anyone, man or woman, has the ability in the moment, while nailed to a cross, being tortured, mocked, and slowly and unmercifully executed, to utter those words? An act of forgiveness at such a crucial moment seems impossible to comprehend; however, without forgiveness, you have sentenced yourself to internal hell.

How to Instantly Forgive: Since I have learned the skill of forgiveness the hard way, I have learned several facts. I have also discovered strategies that will aid you on your quest to be able to forgive anyone for anything.

Seven Facts about Forgiveness: 1) You make a choice to forgive 2) You make a choice not to forgive 3) You cannot pick and choose which behaviors to forgive…ALL circumstances fall under the heading of forgiveness 4) Forgiving is health food for your Soul and 5) Forgiving is contagious 6) Forgiveness does not require words or a physical meeting 7)Forgiveness is an actual energy that you emit.

When You Are Challenged: When you are given opportunities to forgive remember this: Whatever has happened, never take a “slight” personally. This is a really tough concept, but one that is necessary to grasp. How many times have you been angry because of how someone else drove in traffic? It is easy to get angry with someone who just cut you off in traffic; however, there is more than one way to interpret the same incident. Maybe the driver had received a phone call informing him that a loved one was just rushed to the hospital. Would you be forgiving of his driving behaviors if you knew those were the circumstances? I know I would.

Let us say your forgiveness skills are at best rusty, or at worst non-existent. There is hope. Remember, you will not be able to pick and choose your circumstances, but you will be able to choose a different behavior than what you are used to. On February 21, 2013, I was in New York City. It was my only son’s twenty-eighth birthday, and while he worked I decided to visit the 9/11 Memorial. I was in awe of the surroundings. From my perspective the site exuded peace, growth, and the resilience of man. Before my eyes I witnessed the undeniable Universal Law of Cause and Effect. There is never a cause without an effect. Is it possible to forgive nineteen terrorists who brought death and destruction to thousands on that day? Only YOU can answer that question. What I do know is this; whether you chose to practice forgiveness or whether you chose not to practice forgiveness, you will be choosing how you will be affected in your lifetime.

How To Live In The Moment

By Rebecca L. Norrington

Before I discuss how to live in the moment, I’d like to say that living in the moment is, in reality, our true nature. Yes, we were all born only experiencing the present moment. Interestingly enough, we continued living in the present moment until we were approximately four or five-years-old. It’s really crazy that we’ve evolved into living in the past and/or future, rather than what was naturally intended.

Have you ever spent time watching a toddler experience life? A toddler hasn’t been indoctrinated with the infinite amount of adult thinking – not yet. No, you won’t hear a three-year-old repeating any of the following statements:

• I’m not worthy.

• I don’t like the way I look.

• I don’t have enough money.

• I’m too fat.

• I’m too old.

• I’m too short.

• I’m not smart enough.

• I’m worried.

• I’m afraid.

• I’m a failure.

Programmed At Birth

We’ve all been programmed and conditioned at an early age, to label, blame, judge, compare, label, blame, judge, compare, and repeat and repeat this. We’ve also been programmed and conditioned to live in the past/future, or even more unsettling, in our own heads. However, when we choose to indulge in this type of behavior, we automatically give up the gift of living in the present moment. Why? Because, when you label a circumstance, event, or person “good” or “bad”, you’re using a reference from the past. You cannot use a reference from the past and be in the present moment at the same time.

Are Our Thoughts The Enemy?

No. Our thoughts are just that – thoughts. It’s only when we pay too much attention to our thoughts, and take them seriously, that we suffer. Our thoughts about our circumstances (not the circumstance itself) are responsible for all of our suffering. Our runaway, all-consuming thoughts are not evidence of the TRUTH. Our thoughts are evidence of our conditioning.  

If our true nature is to live in the present moment, how do we live in that state-of-being enjoyed by children and the animal kingdom? How do we deprogram ourselves and live in the present moment?

Tip No. 1

Have the intention to live in the present moment everyday! Repeat out loud:

“I intend to live in the moment more and more each day.”

“I’m grateful to experience living in the present moment throughout my day.”

“How would it feel to experience living in the present moment all the time?” (Ask and It Is Given by Abraham-Hicks)

Tip No. 2

Commit to a daily habit of developing and practicing your awareness. I call this living consciously in an unconscious world. Yes, for the most part, we are unconscious creatures of habit; however, habitual behavior does not produce change or growth. Make a decision to change three habitual behaviors each week. Example: Drive home using a different route each day; or if you pack a lunch, eat out; or comb your hair in a different style; or think of three different (nice) responses you can make to a rude cashier. Have fun, and come up with your own personal changes. Challenge yourself and be creative. The point is to shake it up and practice doing things differently. There is no progress without practice.

Tip No. 3

In 2011, I voluntarily took a 40-day vow of silence. Now, I’m not suggesting that you do the same; however, I am suggesting that you spend sometime throughout your day being quiet. And to be perfectly clear, I mean remaining quiet while surrounded by people. This practice will definitely heighten your awareness, tenfold. The more awareness you have, the more present moments you will experience.  Another benefit of this exercise is that when you practice silence, you become a better listener. When you’re really listening to someone, you’re automatically in the present moment.

What’s so Great about Living in the Moment?

Good question. The present moment is the only real reality we have. Anything other than the present moment is, in actuality, non-existent. The past doesn’t exist unless we choose to think about it, and the future doesn’t exist, period. The present moment is the only place we are able to make choices. The present moment is the foundation of our future moments. The present moment is where we’ll find the ultimate peace and contentment. The present moment silences the mind’s chatter. In the present moment, time does not exist. The present moment is where the Universe resides.

Who are YOU?

It’s a challenging question because it’s possible that who you are today might not be who you will be tomorrow. Have you ever thought about that? Do you realize you’re not stuck with a definition of who you are? In addition, what you’re passionate about today might change tomorrow. When you’re receptive to change and you accept the fact that life is always evolving, you automatically begin to flow with reality (life) instead of resisting it. In the beginning, this concept was difficult for me to understand and embrace.

I wasn’t raised with too many options, especially when it came to personal growth. Personal growth? Spiritual growth? I don’t remember my parents connecting the two words together. And, the topic of personal growth wasn’t offered at any school I attended. How did I stumble into the pool of wanting to know more about who I was? I was in my twenties when I took my first personality test. The test was extensive and I enjoyed answering questions I’d never thought to ask myself.*

After the test results were calculated, I discovered that the person described wasn’t me. I mean, a small percentage was recognizable, but the majority was not. How could this happen? How could I fail a personality test? Then, a light bulb when off. The answer was simple. I was answering the questions the same way my father would’ve answered the questions. Yes, that’s right. I adored my father, he was my superman. When I was 12 years old, I remember telling him, “Daddy, when I grow up, I want to marry a man just like you.” Now, instead of marrying a man like my father, I was my father, literally. Like most children, I was indoctrinated to believe things about myself that I hadn’t tested or even questioned.

That is why I ask you, my dear readers, who are YOU? Do you even know? It’s a question that I think everyone needs to sit quietly and ask themselves. In my opinion, discovering who you really are is a vital component to finding peace and happiness during your life’s journey.

Let me also say, that whoever you think you are, you are much more.

*The Keirsey Temperament Sorter®-II (KTS®-II) is the most widely used personality instrument in the world. It is a powerful 70 question personality instrument that helps individuals discover their personality type. The KTS-II is based on Keirsey Temperament Theory™, published in the both bestselling books, Please Understand Me® and Please Understand Me II, by Dr. David Keirsey.

RealitySpirituality Radio Recap - June

RealitySpirituality Radio

www.realityspirituality.com

Saturdays @ 7:00am PST - Weekly Guests

Sundays @ 7:00am PST - Rebecca's Weekly Topic & Show

June showcased some of the best programming yet!  Here's a recap of some of the highlights:

HARMONY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS:   

Is it possible to create HARMONY in ALL of your relationships? 

The answer is YES!  Listen to discover HOW!Click here to listen to the archived show!

IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW:

Rebecca discusses her trip to Long Island for the book release - challenges, judgement, Universal "blindsides" and lessons learned.

Click here to listen to the archived show!

YOU'RE MAD AT ME?

Guaranteed strategies to deal with anyone that is angry, mad, 

or upset with you.  Works EVERY time!

Click here to listen to the archived show!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guest Appearances in June:

GUEST: Belinda Farrell, author of the new book Find Your Friggin’ Joy, graduated with a BA in Spanish and English from the University of California at Berkeley and is trained in hypnotherapy, past life regression, NLP, Hawaiian chanting, and ancient Hawaiian healing (Huna). Belinda trained with Anthony Robbins (author of Unlimited Power) and has 

effectively used these skills in her own life. 

Click here to listen to the archived show!

GUEST: Doreen Guma is the founder of Time To Play as well as the author of the soon
to be released book, "If I Knew Then What I Know Now:  Our Quest for Quality of Life."  (Chapter three contributed by radio personality, spiritual teacher and author Rebecca L. Norrington.) Rebecca and Doreen will be discussing the upcoming book, the release party, and their strategies for happiness.  

Click here to listen to the archived show!

GUEST: Randall Fountain's purpose is to help raise the conscious of the earth and to help people become more connected to spirit with his music. Randall plans to visit different cultures and experience their traditions of how they live and how they connect to spirit. Randall says "we all have the ability to access our inner power through the present moment and ultimately to transmute our emotions and thoughts into a peaceful life.

Karen Curry can help you discover your unique blueprint for creating perfect abundance in
your life. Human Design is a new, cutting-edge personality assessment tool that shows you your unique decision-making strategy, your special gifts and talents, where you carry your pain and your potential for healing and wisdom. 

Click here to listen to the archived show!

Carolyn Cooper is an energy healing practioner, Certified Professional Coach,

teacher/trainer, and author the highly anticipated book, "SimplyHealed™." As the Founder/CEO of Carolyn Cooper International, Inc., a rapidly expanding business and training corporation, she teaches leading-edge intuitive and vibrational modalities.  These effective methods accelerate healing wounds of the past and present and allow clients to claim more joy and peace.  Through her professional training and her natural gifts of intuition, Carolyn is able to restore harmony, align energy systems, and more fully balance the body.   

Click here to listen to the archived show!

Your Opinion is My Opinion

Originally published on State of Appreciation on Friday, June 7th

Years ago I made a commitment to learn HOW to remain happy – regardless of any of my external circumstances. It’s because of this solid commitment to prioritize being happy and maintaining internal peace that I’ve made conscious adjustments to my past behaviors. Why? Because 99.9% of the things I did and said did not align with my priority of wanting to be happy. When I made wanting to be happy my number one priority, I was forced to change. And with the change, my life changed. On this journey of discovering how to remain happy, I found out that I needed to develop and create new tools and strategies to counteract anything that didn’t match my new priority – happiness. First, I had to acknowledge and accept the fact that my happiness depended on one person – me. With this knowledge, I felt a sense of empowerment. I no longer had to depend on anyone else to be happy. Maintaining my happiness was my sole responsibility. This new concept of knowing I was responsible for my own happiness brought an added bonus of peace because that meant if I wasn’t happy, it was my fault. I must confess that the majority of my life was spent relying on others and/or circumstances to make me happy. Now my happiness is my responsibility alone. And between you and me, I AM the most qualified person for the job.

While maintaining my own happiness, I discovered another huge but freeing responsibility: Not only am I responsible for maintaining my happiness, I’m also responsible for maintaining harmony in each and every one of my relationships! At first this was definitely a hard concept to accept and even harder to believe – but it’s true. I’ll admit, I spent a couple of decades denying this fact. It was so easy for me to blame the other person for the conflicts and discord in my relationships. In fact, I conjured up endless reasons and even more excuses where I made sure the blame was theirs. I can’t be the ONLY reason for disharmony in my relationships… can I? Can’t I blame the other person for their participation in the friction and discord? As hard as I tried to blame others for their actions, words, and behaviors, it always circled back to me. Why? Because I was responsible for my happiness. It really didn’t matter which relationship I encountered throughout the day, whether it be my parents, children, friends, co-workers, relatives or even strangers – the responsibility of creating harmony in all of the before-mentioned relationships fell squarely on my shoulders. If I want to experience harmonious relationships, it’s my job to create and cultivate them.

Presently, if there’s any friction of any kind in any of my relationships, I have no one to blame but myself. Ouch! Let me apologize in advance for sharing this shocking revelation, but there are no exceptions to this rule. No exceptions to the “Law of Relationship Harmony”.

How does the Law of Relationship Harmony Work?

First of all, let me share that my “Law of Relationship Harmony” (LRH) was created due to the conflicts in my real-life relationships. When I use the term conflict, I’m referring to ANY conversation or encounter that’s not harmonious. I discovered a simple but an unknown secret. I discovered that voicing my opinion and harmonious relationships don’t mix. Especially with people who are not accepting of others. If you are accepting of all opinions and you’ve eliminated judgment from your life style then this article is not for you.

My Past Exposed

Years ago I handed out opinions like I was handing out candy on Halloween. Everyone that was in my presence got served. I even voiced opinions about people I never personally met. Athletes, celebrities, politicians, spiritual teachers, you name a person – I had an opinion about them. Not only did I have an opinion about everyone and everything that happened on this planet, I took it one step further. Everyone that had the pleasure of meeting me was subject to listening to my opinion. All of my “hostages” had one thing in common – they all had ears.

Guilty or Not Guilty

In 1995, former American football player O. J. Simpson was charged with two counts of murder. The criminal trial lasted nine months and was held in Los Angeles, California – my backyard. This case has been described as the most publicized criminal trial in American history. When O.J. Simpson was on trial for double homicide, I was working nights. This left me with free time during the day to watch the entire nine-month trial. Yes, watching the O.J. Simpson trial became a non-paying part-time job. I was consumed with the case; and after the criminal trial ended, Simpson was tried for punitive damages in a civil court. There I was again, glued to the television set. Unbelievably, watching both trials wasn’t enough. I also listened to radio and television commentary after each day of hearings. Adding to my wealth of trial information, I even purchased books from famous criminal attorneys in the country. Both of the O. J. Simpson trials provided me with a smorgasbord of judgment and opinions. I had defined opinions and righteous judgment about whether or not Simpson was guilty. I openly discussed my opinions about the trial lawyers, the witnesses, the judge, the jurors, and even opinions about the murdered victims. You can believe that in 1995, I shared my opinions and judgments with anyone with ears. And to top it off, I collected evidence to prove my opinion was “right”.

Whether or not O. J. Simpson was guilty of double homicide is not the point here. It’s taken me almost fifteen years to realize that voicing my opinions was divisive to anyone who did not share the same opinion. I intentionally segregated people based on whether or not they shared my opinion as to whether or not O. J. Simpson was guilty of double homicide. I actually de-friended people who did not agree with me. I ended relationships with people I’d known for years. Looking back, voicing my opinion created a lot of division in my life – and along with the energy of division, comes the energy of unhappiness.

I’ve spent most of my life and a lot of energy voicing and arguing my opinions and my reasons for them. But what are opinions? Opinions are a personal preference based on an individual’s perspective. How can you disagree with a personal perspective? More importantly, have you ever engaged in a back-and-forth discussion (aka argument) and the other person suddenly stops and yells out – “OMG, you’re RIGHT! What was I thinking?” Every single person I’ve argued with about whether or not O.J. Simpson was guilty NEVER changed their mind. Not once! Not one person changed their opinion because of a discussion I had with them. It didn’t matter how much “evidence” I supplied to support my opinion either. What’s been your experience? When two or more people discuss opposing opinions, it usually plays out like an endless back and forth exchange with the grand finale statement of “I guess we’re just going to agree to disagree”. Think about it, when’s the last time you’ve changed a cultivated opinion? 

Look around. This world is obsessed with never-ending discussions about what happened, why it happened, what should have happened, what could happen, and what will happen. Opinions are what make talk-radio and television multi-billion dollar businesses. You can’t escape them.

What’s My Opinion?

My opinion is that I AM responsible for supplying the dose of harmony in all of my relationships. All of them. And because of this, I’ll sincerely and vehemently AGREE with any opinion you might have! Besides, everyone is entitled to believe their opinion is valid. Have you ever had an argument with someone who agreed with you? The answer is no. We only argue with people we disagree with. And with that said, your opinion is now my opinion. Say goodbye to arguing, disagreements, and conflicts and say hello to peace and harmony.

Is O. J. Simpson guilty of double homicide? “That’s what the evidence shows.”

Is O. J. Simpson not-guilty of double homicide? “That’s what the evidence shows.”

Again, since my number one priority is to maintain harmony in all of my relationships at all costs, I have an obligation to create and maintain the harmony I seek. I admit, that my ego gets hurt and feels neglected; however, that’s a necessary side-effect to creating harmonious relationships. Besides, I’m sure my ego will quickly find another project to attach itself to.

Let me be perfectly clear, when I pose the idea of whether or not I should voice my opinion, I’m talking about my day-in, day-out life. What would happen in my personal life, if I agreed with all opposing opinions? Nothing but a peaceful encounter. I’m still able to maintain my opinion; it’s just that no one needs to know it. No one ever needs to know my opinion, especially if it creates division. Unless it’s my job to voice an opinion, I will continue to agree with all opinions I meet. If voicing my opinion does not create a harmonious encounter, then why would I choose to voice it? 

Democrats versus Republicans

When I was growing up, my father would instigate a political discussion of Democrats versus Republicans, usually around the dinner table. Republicans versus Democrats – good versus bad. (no order intended), I received a thorough brainwashing for sure. I was conditioned to dislike anyone who wasn’t affiliated with both my parents’ choice of political parties. I’ll admit that as a young adult, I fell for the indoctrination hook, line, and sinker. Before meeting a person, I developed an opinion about them based on which political party they belonged to. That’s more evidence of how my opinion created division. Now that my priority is maintaining and sustaining peace during all circumstances, it doesn’t matter to me whether you are affiliated with the Republican party, the Democratic party, the Libertarian party, the Peace and Freedom Party, the Constitution Party, or the Green Party – I agree with them all.

What draws out more opinions than a national presidential election? I can’t think of anything else at this moment. I admit that during the 2008 presidential election, my opinion as to whom I was going to vote for was plastered on several billboards throughout the state. (Exaggerated to make the point) I let my opinion be known, with a mega-megaphone. I also shared my opinion with willing and unwilling hostages. I even remember making phone calls to people who I knew were undecided! Yes, I know, I know, it’s hard for me to believe also. But that is what’s so great about change and growth. We all have the ability to make different choices whenever the old choices stop serving us. Did sharing my political opinion create any peace for me? The answer is NO. Sharing my opinion with opposing “parties” never brought me peace, harmony, or happiness!

In 2012, the United States held an election for Obama's second term. Even though Obama won the election, the poles showed this country was strongly divided. For me, the election did not have the same “feel” as the 2008 election did. I was too wrapped up in wanting to be happy. Don’t get me wrong, I planned on voting, and I had a clear idea of who I wanted in the White House; however, I was no longer compelled to voice my opinion. In 2012, it didn’t matter who I voted for. What mattered to me was how to engage in daily conversations about the election that I would inevitably have. Why? Because I take public transportation to and from downtown Los Angeles every day. On a daily basis. I encounter station security, janitorial staff, bus drivers, and passengers. I work in an office that occupies 12 floors in a 28-floor building divided into North and South towers. I literally have 700+ co-workers. Along with co-workers, there are hundreds of other tenants occupying the same building, including CHP officers, private security, maintenance/janitorial staff, and cafeteria employees. When I enter the front door, I pass more than 10 security officers before I reach the lobby. I literally speak to at least 15 people before I even arrive at the elevators. In my free time (lol), I teach 4-5 exercise classes every week. My classes are usually filled with 25-40 students. I literally have contact with hundreds of people on a daily basis, Monday through Saturday.

My behavior had to change between the 2008 election and the 2012 election. My behavior had to change because I changed. I changed because my priorities changed. My priorities changed from feeding my ego, to wanting to create peaceful, harmonious relationships everywhere I landed. Discussing, arguing, voicing my opinion to hear others vehemently disagree with me did not feel good anymore. In 2012, I had a dilemma. How was I going to interact with the hundreds of people I saw on a daily basis?

As usual, several months prior to the election, the candidates would host televised debates. And the next day following the debates, there was no escaping the political conversations, especially with my opinionated reputation. 

I distinctly remember walking into my office building after a night of presidential debates. To my left was a female security officer wearing a “Vote for Obama” button. Our eyes locked and I gave her the universal “two-thumbs-up” sign. A few more feet into the building, was a small group of Romney supporters huddled in a circle. I locked eyes with one of the Romney supporters, and guess what? I flashed another universal “two-thumbs-up” sign. My behavior was simple and really easy, and more importantly, harmoniously peaceful. For months prior to the election, I mirrored everyone’s opinions.

When asked in 2012, “Who’re you voting for?" I responded with, “I’m voting for the same person you’re voting for – of course.” Anyone who asked me my opinion on the election, I would encourage them to discuss their opinion first. All I had to do was listen intently and nod my head up and down – listen intently and nod my head up and down again. My opinion was their opinion; and with that there was peace and harmony in my world. I was happy. They were happy. Harmony reigned supreme.

Time has passed and I still have my opinions, but now they live in exile. You see, my priorities have changed. Today, my number one priority is to be happy and to create harmonious relationships. 

My Recent Relapse

I recently had a reoccurring conversation with my dear, sweet mother. The key word here is reoccurring. My mother loves to watch the morning, afternoon, evening, and weekly news. If the news is on, she’s watching it. As you might guess, my personal preference is to not watch the news. My mother knows this fact; however, it doesn’t stop her from trying to engage me in conversations about what’s happening in the news. A lot of times, people want to insist on what’s important to them be important to others. I know, because I’ve been guilty of this also.

My dear mother insists “You should know what’s going on in the world.” “You should know what’s happening in your community.” “How will you know what to wear if you don’t listen to the weather report?” All valid points; however, I seem to manage a life without receiving a daily dose of murder, rape, child abuse, mass shootings, be-headings, global warming, and war stories.

My dear well-meaning mother actually gets angry because I don’t watch the news! The last time my mother ended the reoccurring scolding, I thought to myself, “What’s wrong with me agreeing to watch the news?” It doesn’t mean I have to watch it. Is it really that important for me to disagree with an 84-year-old woman? After all, I’ve been disagreeing with her for years on countless topics, and what have I created? Certainly not harmony or peace. My mother does not share or accept my opinion regarding watching the news; and in reality, why should she? You can be sure that the next time the topic of watching the news comes up I’m going to let my mother know that she’s been right all along! What was I thinking? Why would I deprive myself of a daily dose of negativity and brutal images?

Yes, voicing my opinion has become unnecessary for me because I’ve switched my priorities. Now, your opinion is my opinion. Tell me what you think and I’ll agree.

Rap music is destroying our youth. “I agree”.

Pornography degrades women. “I agree”.

If you’re not eating organic, expect to die. “Yes, I agree”.

Global warming is a serious issue. “I couldn't agree more”.

Drugs should be illegal. “I agree”.

Drugs should be legal. “I agree”.

The top 10 problems in this country are … “I agree”.

Did I watch the news today? “Morning, noon, and night.”

My solution is simple, easy, and it works for ME.

By the way, if you don't agree with this article, I don't either.